In the midst of a deep postpartum depression, I was longing for more, struggling with chronic pain from my pregnancy, and wondering what God was doing in the midst of all of my pain.
I felt very spiritually dry and depleted. Part of what I sense God calling me to is a deeper relationship with Him for my own personal well-being as well as a means of allowing God to use me to help others.
Ever since I heard of spiritual direction I was intrigued. After a few years, I realized it was more than intrigue, it was a nudge from the Lord inviting me to explore becoming a spiritual director. As I shared this desire with my spiritual director she asked me to consider the Ignatian Discernment process.
As I prayed through the 11-step process, I heard Him clearly say that He. has. been. waiting. for me to become a spiritual director. So, I quickly began the search for a program. My husband heard about the spiritual formation program through Moody Distance Learning. It was a 2-year program that consisted of four 3-day retreats at a nearby retreat center, lots of reading, and writing reflection papers. Knowing my time was limited with my 17-month-old daughter at home this seemed like the perfect fit.
I applied in Nov 2017 and began in Jan 2018. As I continued on with the spiritual formation program and meeting with a spiritual director I learned that pain has a purpose. You can either allow Christ to transform your pain or you transmit your pain to those around you.
I began to tend to the needs of my own soul. As I looked at the pain, the places of mistrust were exposed. My eyes were opened to the areas where I was trying to earn Christ's love through performance. Reluctantly, through the Holy Spirit's gentle leading I began to incorporate more spiritual disciplines into my life.
Over time, Christ replenished me with His rivers of living water.
What is Spiritual Direction?
Spiritual direction is “help given by one Christian to another which enables that person to pay attention to God’s personal communication to him or her, to respond to this personally communicating God, to grow in intimacy with this God, and to live out the consequences of the relationship.” (William A. Barry and William J. Connolly, The Practice of Spiritual Direction)
Jesus is the best spiritual director.
God used spiritual direction to help me understand and implement spiritual disciplines in life-giving ways.
Up next, learn how God has healed me through Immanuel Prayer.